These are the things I face everyday which I want to get rid of if I can.
1. Total silence in office. Talking less than 10 sentences a day to anyone.
Remark : If I can leave this job I will. On the other hand I also cannot stand colleagues who brag and chit chat on the phone all day long. Especially women who like to talk about what their bfs or husbands do etc. “I want to go travel”, “ask your bf to buy ticket for you lah”, “dunno where to go”, “last night I went….” etc.
Having facebook alone is bad enough. I see these women without having to actually face them. So I cannot imagine having people like that in the office.
2. Go home to total silence again, but I hear my mother’s scream in my head.
Remark : The home is also a silence place with no one to talk to most of the time. But then, I can almost always hear my mother screaming at my dad. I am traumatized by the whole thing and I hear her in my head.
I need to have my own home, a loving home.
3. Unable to feel love.
Remark : I don’t know what and how people love each other. When I say my bf doesn’t love me, he becomes angry but in reality I don’t feel loved. I feel abandoned most of the days. Even when he is with me, I cannot feel that we are being anywhere close. Eat, TV, Movies and nothing else. Hardly have a heart to heart talk and no discussion about future.
I need to feel love. I feel like giving up. Someone please tell me this is not love, a guy who truly treasures the girl is not like that. Isn’t love suppose be sweet, loving, dependable and makes one feel secured.
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