My mind had taken me far far away for the whole week. I am thinking about swimming, looking for a pool, went to a pool etc to start some sort of exercise routine.
It is exhausting. I totally suck in the water. Many hundred years ago my parents sent me to one of those group swimming class in a public pool. There I was forced to do what I have no confidence in doing. I remembered attending classes without practicing. We are not like the children today whom the parents drive them from one class to another. Besides, how can we practice without a pool?
Secondly, my sister was learning together at the same time. Double the cost!! In the end, I learned nothing and had not been swimming for the past 20 years. I have not a clue where to start.
Honestly, I often get negative comments from my family if I want to do something new. For example taking swimming lessons and keeping the hair longer. You know what? I am giving up on the hair. Will get a hair cut on Sunday and I can stop listening to someone asking me “when are you going to get a hair cut?” I don’t quite like my hair long either. Not in this weather. So I made the decision to have it cut. I don’t blame them for being sceptical about swimming class because I found the instructor via internet, I have not met him and I’m suppose to go to the condo on Sunday morning when most people prefer to stay in bed. Although I never get to stay in bed on any day for years.
What makes me want to learn swimming? I have enough of gym memberships and none of the gym can offer me what I want. I can only attend one or two classes and the timetable doesn’t suit me. I hate working with machines so it is a total waste of money. But I need to exercise and hope to be able to do the same exercises when I’m old. No pain in the joints whatever. So swimming is the best.
I believe E J is a good instructor. I hope this works for me because I totally hate the energy wasting, breathless and muscle sore kind of swimming. Is there such a thing?
…. 3 Hours Later
I smsed E J told him I would like to postpone the class to Monday evening. I was in some panic attacked mode, I need someone to go with me for me to feel some comfort. So I asked the bf. Unfortunately, he has a beach wedding to shoot this weekend but he will take me to class on Monday.
I wonder if he is allowed to use the pool and swim? Otherwise he will be so bored waiting for me in the night smoking cigarettes. 
This is how much fear I have. I have no idea how to get through this. I feel like crying… but I must overcome this. I am telling myself, no more looking up information or even think about swimming for the weekend. Just keep myself busy with the classes and soon it will be Monday… probably a day of nerve wrecking in the office.
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